Rock ‘n’ roll: noise pollution or economic solution?

Political pundits have been at a loss to explain why gubernatorial candidate Eliot Cutler is still polling far behind his rivals for the Blaine House. I believe I have the answer.

At a time when most Mainers are still struggling to make ends meet, it’s not surprising that multi-millionaire Sen. Angus King’s endorsement of his fellow one-percenter failed to produce a bump in Cutler’s poll numbers. And Cutler’s oft-repeated battle cry that money is the “single greatest threat to [our] democracy” rings rather hollow in the wake of his supporters’ successful legal action last month to allow rich donors to double their contributions to his campaign.

But I believe the most damaging development for Camp Cutler was the candidate’s interview with Dispatch, a monthly entertainment magazine that published a quirky voters’ guide in its September issue. Contributor Molly F. McGill asked the candidates what “go-to song/artist” gets them “pumped up on the campaign trail.”

As usual, Mike Michaud stuck to the Democratic Party line and said “Bruce Springsteen.” Also per usual, Gov. Paul LePage’s answer was both disturbing and untrue. He cited “Green, Green Grass of Home,” a mournful country number told from the perspective of a death-row inmate facing imminent execution, and falsely claimed that it’s “a 1950s song” (it was first recorded in 1965).

Cutler’s answer: “You Shook Me All Night Long,” by AC/DC. “I wake up to it every single morning,” he said.

To which Dispatch readers responded en masse: “eeew.”

There’s something profoundly creepy about the thought of Cutler waking up every morning in his Cape Elizabeth mansion as this song blares in his boudoir. If true, it’s a wonder he’s still married. Chockfull of the Australian rock band’s junior-high-level sexual double entendres, the track strongly suggests that the singer’s nymphomaniacal partner is blind: “She had the sightless eyes telling me no lies / Knocking me out with those American thighs.”

Then again, perhaps a song about screwing blind people is the perfect soundtrack for a political campaign. It’s certainly better than other selections from “Back in Black” that Cutler could have cited, like “Given the Dog a Bone” or “Let Me Put My Love Into You.”

If I were advising his campaign, I’d have steered Cutler to the last song on the album, “Rock and Roll Ain’t Noise Pollution,” with its opening exhortation to “all you middle men … sittin’ on a fence” (i.e., undecided voters) to “get off your arse and come down here” because rock ’n’ roll makes “good, good sense.”

Indeed, loud music does make good sense for Maine’s economy. The fact it’s too often considered noise pollution is a very real problem in Portland, and a timely one, too.

This fall, Grime Studios, a rehearsal space in Libbytown, is slated to be bulldozed to make way for the $100 million-plus Forefront at Thompson’s Point development. Over 25 bands will be without a place to practice. A recent survey found only 30 rental spaces in Portland suitable for rock bands, and 15 of those are at Grime.

The punk band Nuclear Bootz rehearsing at Grime Studios. photo/courtesy Justin Curtsinger

The punk band Nuclear Bootz rehearsing at Grime Studios. photo/courtesy Justin Curtsinger

Grime Studios owner Justin Curtsinger has had a hard time finding another location (largely due to zoning laws limiting noise pollution), but recently signed a letter of intent to take over about 8,000 square feet of warehouse space on Presumpscot Street, in East Deering. The location can accommodate over 30 rehearsal rooms, and it would be “the ONLY large-scale music rehearsal & artist studio north of Boston to offer affordable 24/7 access,” Curtsinger wrote in promotional materials, adding “COMPLETELY FREE OF NOISE COMPLAINTS.”

Trouble is, the build-out will be expensive: over $90,000 once everything’s sound-proofed and sprinkled. In addition to trying to get loans and large private investments, Curtsinger has launched an online crowd-funding campaign via Indiegogo and is organizing fundraising concerts (including a Sept. 18 show at Geno’s).

Portland is the state’s economic engine and cultural hub. Live music generates more economic activity year-round than any other art form in the city, and as bands get better and more popular, they generate more cash for all involved. Ipso facto, ensuring there’s affordable and accessible rehearsal space in Portland makes good economic sense for Maine.

If you’re fortunate enough to have a few extra thousand dollars, don’t spend it to pay for more annoying political commercials. Donate it to Grime. Politicians come and go, but as the song says, “Rock ’n’ roll will never die.”

Chris Busby

About Chris Busby

Chris Busby is editor and publisher of The Bollard, a monthly magazine about Portland. He writes a weekly column for the BDN.