The Republicans’ cool candidate for Congress

Isaac Misiuk is the Republican candidate in Maine's 1st Congressional District race.

Isaac Misiuk is the Republican candidate in Maine’s 1st Congressional District race.

The men and women we elect to represent us in Congress are entrusted to make decisions that affect the fate of not only our state and our country, but the entire world. We rely on them to protect our fundamental rights, our livelihoods, our lives and the lives of generations to come.

Because these positions entail such awesome responsibility, it’s crucial that those who hold them be qualified for the job. They need to know how government functions and have a clear understanding of the complex political issues of the day. That’s why the two major political parties carefully cultivate and vet their candidates for these important offices. They don’t just pick some schmoe off the street and throw their support behind that dupe, hoping to get him elected to help guide our collective destiny. That would be madness.

Case in point: Isaac Misiuk, the Republican candidate for Maine’s 1st Congressional District.

The bio on Misiuk’s campaign website makes it clear why this 25-year-old should be elected to help govern the most powerful nation the world has ever known. He is a “life-long Mainer,” a single father and a sophomore at the University of Southern Maine, where he is studying political science.

Misiuk isn’t sure whether carbon pollution contributes to global warming, or whether creationism should be taught in public schools instead of evolution. He’s nothing if not open-minded.

According to his bio, Misiuk served as Director of Student Development at USM, and in that role he “devoted much of his time working to build relationships with businesses and organizations in the community to aide [sic] graduating seniors transition [sic] into a career in Maine…” (Note: Members of Congress typically delegate this type of communication with constituents to assistants known as “aides,” who typically have a better sense of grammar.)

Misiuk has experience in the private sector, where he “established himself in the sales industry as a Retail Store Manager.” He was a manager at a Radio Shack in Topsham. On a typical day, a store like that might handle several hundreds of dollars’ worth of sales. Misiuk should have no problem applying that experience to the federal budget, which involves several trillion dollars of revenue and expenditures, but very few returns for store credit.

Misiuk also has experience as a REALTOR, but he soon left that career because so many other people were getting into the real estate business. Though critics might cite this as proof Misiuk is a feckless quitter, one could also argue that there would be more job opportunities in Maine if others followed his lead and relinquished their position to make way for newcomers.

And Misiuk has political experience. In 2012, he qualified to be a candidate for a seat on the Gorham Town Council. Misiuk told a radio interviewer earlier this month that he “focused more on the Senate elections and getting Mitt Romney elected” than his own campaign. “The telling part of that … is I only spoke to the 35 people that I needed to get on the ballot, and I walked away with over 500 votes, which is actually pretty cool in my opinion,” he said.

Indeed, running for office and making almost no effort whatsoever to get to know your constituents or their concerns is the epitome of “cool.” Can you picture The Fonz knocking on strangers’ doors at dinnertime to distribute his unhip campaign lit? Exactamundo.

Is Misiuk cool enough to be a member of Congress? The Maine Republican Party obviously thinks he’s the best man for the job, as does Gov. Paul LePage, who appears in a campaign commercial for Misiuk posted online. “It is time the generation of tomorrow has a voice in Washington today,” LePage tells the world. “I believe that Isaac Misiuk is that voice.”

Chris Busby

About Chris Busby

Chris Busby is editor and publisher of The Bollard, a monthly magazine about Portland. He writes a weekly column for the BDN.